Well, here I am on a perfectly Good Friday afternoon with nothing to do. I have the day off from work, the weather is absolutely perfect (San Diego, y’all), and I just got paid. So, what’s stopping me from living my best life?
- COVID-19
- A complete and total lack of social skills
I can’t do anything about COVID-19 (except wear a mask, which I do).
The lack of social skills is something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. I desperately want to be part of a social circle; I just don’t know how. Sure, it requires participation and engagement, but how much? Apparently, I’m a friend of extremes; either I engage too much and piss everyone off, or I don’t engage enough to the point where no one thinks I’m interested anymore (and a bit of a prick).
So… What the eff do I do? I don’t know how to strike that delicate balance. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve been told I’m “too moody,” “too clingy,” “socially retarded,” and more. Somehow, the idea of friendships growing organically escapes me entirely.
And today is one of those days I really wish it didn’t.
I’ll be OK, I guess. Tomorrow is another day. I’m grateful for today. I’m blessed. Just not with social skills.